Friday, March 04, 2011

Everybody STILL hates Applebee's!

And all I wanted was this guy's bat
The other night I was sitting around minding my own business when all of a sudden my Twitter feed started blowin' up with mentions of moi:
  • "Let's have a party and have @clarkbrooks as the guest of honor."
  • "We can meet at #Chili's"
  • "I'll buy the first round. Cheers, Clark! :)  "
At this point, I had no idea what was going on, but like a Labrador Retreiver, I was just very excited that other people were happy and that I'm somehow involved! However, being slightly more curious about my surroundings than the average Lab, I eventually asked what was going on. The answer I get was, "Someone asked about hating Applebee's. I directed her to your blog". That person also chimed in with, Any enemy of Applebees is a friend of mine. : ). Nice to meet you!"
Wow, seriously?
I mean, that's great. I love positive feedback. But that post I wrote about Applebee's was over three years ago. I don't even think I was that mean. Certainly not as mean as some of the comments I've received on it over the years:
  • "I unaffectionately refer to this establishment as Craplebees."
  • "...cant beat the happy hour...everything else sucks."
  • "I'm sure you will be happy to know that this is the fifth article down on a Google search for 'hate applebees'."
  • " Everyday, some cross-eyed person yells at me to make them macaroni." (That's from a former employee of Applebee's and is one of my favorite comments of all time as I believe it is the most accurate description of what hell is really like ever written.)
Again, Wow! I don't even think it's one of my better posts. Certainly not as good as "Denns the Menace is gay!" or the interviews with Lynne Austin, Maria Bamford or Steve Jerve or even the thing I wrote about riding the bus the other day. I guess it's just further proof of three fundamental truths; that people like what they like, they hate what they hate and they love hating Applebee's. That's fine with me, I'll take love, affection and positive feedback any way I can get it and the rest is Applebee's problem. It does make you wonder about that much hatred forcused on just one thing, though. What do you think would happen if the Westboro Baptist Church met at a Applebee's in Topeka to watch the Super Bowl half time show...?
"It's gonna be a while for those riblets, hon."

1 comment:

Ruprecht said...

Good Gordness ....

I despise Applebee's ....

Applebee's ... and my one of my mortal enemies: Riblets.

I went to an Applebee's once ... once, I say. And that was one too many times.

Let me tell you about the Riblets: Oh ... they're "ribs", all right. But they're cut across the bone. Who the hell cuts ribs across the freakin' bone ... ?!??!?? When you do this - in conjunction with slicing them paper-thin as Applebee's does - you can sell and serve as many orders of Riblets as you want and laugh all the way to the bank!


Because in so doing you maximize the lengh to which a single rack of ribs may be stretched! Do you have any idea how many orders of Riblets you can stretch out of a cross-cut rack 'o ribs?

TONS ... !!! It's criminal, I tell you!

And that's why, Mr. Brooks, you won't see me at your party at Applebee's, Chili's or any of their ilk.

End rant.